Sitting here looking at this picture now I thinkto myself, "what am I going to do now?" I really think I'm about to lose my mind with each day that passes by I feel like I also lose a part of myself as well. I can't put my finger on it but I have a very dull aching in my chest that I've never had before. Oh how my heart yearns for more time with you but you have to do your job.....WE WILL SURVIVE THIS I keep thinking and hearing in my head but it's so hard to try to stay strong without loosing it I don't know whether to cry, or scream at the top of my lungs because I desperately and selfishly do not want him to leave us. I think I'm actually scared to death to think about it....I've been putting it off to tell the truth I DO NOT want to cry; but if other spouses can endure this kind of sadness and pain then I can and will survive this just have to keep telling myself day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and second by second that's all I can do. I also keep telling myself this is his job, this is what he signed up for, and you're expected to be strong for you and him and take care of your little boy.
How do you explain to a little child why daddy went away not that he will understand but he notices daddy isn't there and hasn't been there for a while how do you explain that? I guess I'm just going to have to say daddy went away to help people but he will be home really soon and everything is going to be okay because mommy is still here with you and not going anywhere.
This is just the life of a navy wife and child it's to be expected. They call military spouses heros of the home front or the silent rank because while they're out doing their job and serving our country we're here taking care of everything and holding it down until they come back. Yes I admit that things might be different when he comes back but I know that our love will still be the same and he will still be the same guy that I fell head over heels for in the first place. Nothing can ever change that(knock on wood). The only thing that will be different when he comes back is Lucas being bigger and being able to do so much more then he did when he left.....
